As soon as I heard Ronald the rooster crow, I jumped right out of my nest box and hit the floor with a thud. While I was trying to pick myself up and grab my bag, I didn't notice all the eyes looking straight at me. Then I heard a voice from the back of the coop, "Gertrude McCluck, will you keep it down, you'll wake the chicks."

I grabbed my bag, not wanting to wake the youngsters, and left.

I walked through the tiny door, and down the ramp, into the run. Then I grabbed the spare key that was in a small hole in the side of the coop. I reached into the narrow crack feeling something cold. I grabbed it and pulled it out. I walked up to the run door, and unlocked it. Then put the key back.

I gripped the handle of my bag as tight as I could, but stopped to check to see if I had my Glossy Beak Stick and 30 cluck bucks. When I saw it was all there, I shook my tail feathers, and finally left, but as I was leaving I caught my reflection in a puddle. There was an old hen staring right back at me, in a dirty, mud-filled puddle.

From there I took a right and got a ride in the flock bus. I was in the bus for about 20 minutes when it came to a sudden stop. Feathers were literally flying when that happened. Then there was a loud cluck, and big puff of smoke, and the door opened. I got out.

The Sweet Treat Spa, for hens and pullets only, was still 30 miles away. I flagged down a coop-deville, and got inside. Before I knew it the car came to a stop. I grabbed my bag, and got out of the coop-deville.

I was finally here. I walked up the steps of the egg-shaped building, and opened up the door. I scratched my name on the waiting list, and sat down. Just a few minutes later I hear my name called.

"Gertrude McCluck, we are ready to see you," said a very tall Jersey Giant. I stood up, and followed her to the back.

She sat me down in a massage chair, and turned it on. It felt like a dream. Then she pointed to a small Buttercup pullet, and told me to go over to her. I walked on over, and she handed me a robe, then led me to another room, and there I had the best dust bath I have ever had. They then treated me to a lovely dandelion salad, and I was on my way home.

As I was heading out the door, I caught my reflection in a streak-free mirror. I didn't look like an old hen anymore; I looked like a young pullet again.