Hi, my name is Gertrude, Gertrude McCluck. I'm the owner of the famous Tick Eating Agency. Haven't heard of it? Well, let me tell you...

My owner purchased me as a chick from a hatchery. She had decided to get me to help with all the ticks. Some of you may be asking why chickens instead of guineas, since guineas are known for eating ticks. Well, I promised her that I would do my best for her, but told her that I would need more chickens to help. When the new chickens finally arrived, I started T.E.A. (Tick Eating Agency). My business had a few flaws, but otherwise it went great.

One morning, however, it was different. The T.E.A was up extra early preparing for another day of tick eating. When we headed out, we discovered that all the ticks had been eaten. Realizing that we probably just got ahead of schedule, we didn't panic. Then suddenly a group of guineas approached us, marching so perfectly straight with their helmets tightly secured. The leading guinea was fierce and giant.

"What are you doing?" he demanded angrily.

"I'm Gertrude," I replied, "This is the Tick Eating Agency."

"We've been looking for you," he replied. "We heard that you are trying to steal our business."

"What are you talking about?" I was puzzled. "I was picked out of hundreds of chicks for this job! And we can eat more ticks than you any day!"

"I'll bet you," he said, "that we can eat more ticks than you. If we win, you have to give up your agency, but if you win, we will leave."

"Deal!" I clucked.

So we ran back to the chicken shed and told everybody about it. They all agreed that we had to drive the guineas out of town. We got all the chickens to eat ticks, even the chicks. It took great doing, though. There was lots of complaining, like, "It's gross!" or "I'm not hungry," and "Why do we have to eat them?"

The whole shed started working the next morning at 3:00 a.m. when the first rooster crowed. By sunset, we had eaten 146 ticks. We went to the far field to face the guineas and see who had eaten more ticks.

At the far field, we waited anxiously for the guineas to tally up how many ticks they had eaten. They said they had eaten 146 ticks. My beak dropped to the ground. We had tied! What will we do now? I looked down and saw a tick crawling. The last one! I lunged for it and grabbed it a split second before the guinea. What a relief.

"I can't believe it," said the guinea. "You actually won. I guess you have it under control. Get ready guys, we'll be leaving tomorrow."

We all cheered! We had driven the guineas out of town! After they left we restarted T.E.A. and everything went fine. We never saw the guineas again.